See that it is your choice and choose wisely. Know who you are.
בנים אתם לה' אלוקיכם – You are the children of Hashem your G-d!
Love of Hashem, love of Torah and love of your fellow Jew are intertwined and inseparable. The Alter Rebbe told his disciples that “Grandfather [that is how the Alter Rebbe used to refer to the Baal Shem Tov] loved the simple Jew very much. In the early days when I first came to Mezeritch, the Rebbe the Maggid told us that the Baal Shem Tov would often say, “Love of one’s fellow Jew, is Love of G-d. “You are the children of Hashem.” If you love the father, you love the children.””
Reb Shlomo zt”l loved every word and every letter of the Torah. And he loved every Jewish soul dearly. What some or many do not know is that Reb Shlomo zt”l so much wanted us to learn בשמחה, to know and live the deepest depths of Torah and Yiddishkeit בשמחה. He dreamt of having a Yeshiva in Yerushalayim, where people from all over the world would come together בשמחה, to study every word of Torah with love and deep respect for one another בשמחה – with true joy! This is why our Yeshiva is named Yeshivat Simchat Shlomo.
We can wipe out poverty!
B"H I get to visit my mother, Sara Rivkah bat Sasha, may she be well, a few times a year. She is B"H in her 90's and she needs a refuah shleimah. One particularly difficult day, she was suffering a lot and required more than the usual attention, and it wasn't easy to be of much help to her. This caused me to wonder about all her suffering, 'what is the point of it'? Nadja, one of her hardworking caretakers, remarked that the suffering elderly are alive mostly for our benefit, so that we can do something to help them. Though this does not explain much, there is however a very important point in her words.
Be it financial, or psychological or social needs, there are many needy and very needy people in most societies. Let us not even dare pretend to think that we have any real idea as to why some people suffer so much, and why we may be more fortunate than them. But do let us consider what we can do for them. What can we as a society do get rid of poverty, theirs and our own?
Clearly everyone knows about the great mitzvah of 'tzedakkah' - to share one's wealth and heart with the poor. But, we must note that the Torah also teaches us that we can prevent poverty. However, it is not just a matter of redistribution of our resources, as we shall see.
Let us read a few verses carefully (see further down for more insights into this great mitzvah). In Chapter 15 Moshe Rabbeinu talks about the mitzvah of 'Shmittah'- the Sabbatical year. In addition to the agricultural side of the mitzvah to 'let go' - to let the land rest for an entire year, we are also obligated to 'let go' or relinquish unpaid loans:
א מִקֵּץ שֶׁבַע שָׁנִים תַּעֲשֶׂה שְׁמִטָּה: 15:1 At the end of seven years you will make a release. [note- the literal meaning of 'shmittah' is release]. 2 And this is the manner of the release; to release the hand of every creditor from what he lent his friend; he shall not exact from his friend or his brother, because time of the release for the Lord has arrived.
[note- Unfortunately, because there were dishonest debtors who took advantage of this law, the creditors started avoiding giving loans; consequently, honest people who really needed a loan could not get one. Therefore, Hillel the Elder instituted the practice of 'prozbul'- a legal document handing your outstanding loans over to the 'beit din', and thereby the loans need not be 'relinquished'.]
3 From the foreigner you may exact; but what is yours with your brother, your hand shall release. 4 אפס However, there will be no needy among you, for the Lord will surely bless you in the land the Lord, your God, is giving you for an inheritance to possess.
The word אפס -'efess' means 'zero', nothing. In this translation they rendered אפס as 'however'. The Ibn Ezra points to the deep implication, that in addition to giving us the responsibility to help our needy brothers, the Torah is telling us that there is a real possibility of having a poverty-free society. Rashi notes this as well.
Rashi: However, there will be no needy among you: But further on it says, “For there will never cease to be needy [within the land]” (verse 11). [These two verses seem to contradict each other. However, the explanation is:] When you perform the will of the Omnipresent, there will be needy among others but not among you. If, however, you do not perform the will of the Omnipresent, there will be needy among you. - [Sifrei]
Hashem blesses us to have a poverty-free society. But this promise/blessing is conditional, as we see in the Rashi above, and as spelled out in verse 5:
5 However, [this will depend on] if you hearken to the voice of the Lord, your God, to be careful to do all this commandment, which I am commanding you today.
Rashi: However, if you hearken [to the voice of the Lord, your God]: then “there will be no needy among you” (verse 4).
The Ibn Ezra says that if we [at least the majority] would live an honest life with man and with G-d, according to Torah and mitzvot, we would be blessed to be free of poverty [and we would then have the resources to help other nations].
However eventually we strayed from the Torah's path and consequently we have had to deal with poverty ever since, including our personal 'spiritual poverty'. The Talmud (Talmud, Bava Batra 10a) records a conversation in which Turnusrufus challenged Rabbi Akiva, "If your G-d loves the poor, why doesn't He feed them?" To which Rabbi Akiva replied, "So that we should be saved from purgatory (in the merit of the charity we give)."
Rabbi Akiva’s reply says that of course Hashem does not need us to feed his poor. But since there are poor as a result of our having strayed from His path, we are responsible not only to help them, we are responsible for the very existence of poverty! And we have to work hard to rid our societies of poverty. We need Hashem’s blessings to achieve this, because the journey is full of many hardships.
First and foremost, the way in which we can get back to the good life is by doing acts of loving kindness and tzedakkah. The greatest blessing is the mitzvah of tzedakkah and ‘gemilut chassadfim’ doing acts of loving kindness. This mitzvah affords us the opportunity to make the world a better place. It allows us to manifest Hashem’s reality and compassion in this lowly world that is filled with aggression and suffering. As we arouse ourselves to have compassion on one who is less fortunate and to provide them with support, Hashem is aroused above to have compassion on us. We need Hashem’s compassion not only to make things better, we need it just to keep on believing that we can make things better; that we are not living under fate, that we really do have the free choice to be good and to do good.
The mitzvah of tzedakkah and gemilut chassadim is presented as follows:
7 If there will be among you a needy person, from one of your brothers in one of your cities, in your land the Lord, your God, is giving you, you shall not harden your heart, and you shall not close your hand from your needy brother. 8 Rather, you shall surely open your hand to him, and you shall lend him sufficient for his needs, which he is lacking.
Rashi and all the commentators take note of the special wording of this mitzvah. There are three aspects here; 1- do not harden your heart; 2- do not close your hand; and 3- you shall open your hand. Rashi explains: Rashi: you shall not harden [your heart]: Some people suffer [as they deliberate] whether they should give [to the needy] or they should not give; therefore it says: “you shall not harden [your heart].” Some people stretch out their hand [to give], but then close it; therefore it says: “nor close your hand.” - [Sifrei]
Ibn Ezra explains ‘you shall not harden your heart’ as a commandment to speak kindly, with compassion and encouragement. [i.e. do not shut your heart from being compassionate]. The Talmud states (Baba Batra 9b) states כל הנותן פרוטה לעני מתברך בשש ברכות והמפייסו בדברים מתברך בי"א ברכות ‘one who gives a coin to a poor person is blessed with six blessings, while if one also appeases him [with kind words] he is blessed with elven blessings’.
All this is true not only in how we relate with the poor, it is also true vis-a-vis our own personal spiritual poverty. As we have learned many times our souls are all too often living in poverty in the exile of our bodies. Just like food nourishes our bodies, Torah and mitzvot are the nourishment for our souls. Therefore, we must recognize that we are responsible for our souls and their well-being, and that if they are living in poverty, it is we who are responsible to restore them to being joyous and robust as they were in heaven. So, do not harden your heart – have compassion on your soul; and do not shut your hand – do not withhold your soul’s nourishment of Torah and mitzvot; and you shall surely open your hand – feed your soul!
And when we have compassion on our fellow man the gates of Hashem’s compassion are opened. May we be blessed to do much kindness this coming Elul and bring down much heavenly compassion on ‘Am Yisrael’ and ‘Eretz Yisrael’, and may you and all of us be blessed with a happy wonderful New Year. Shalom Shalom Shalom
רְאֵה אָנכִי נתֵן לִפְנֵיכֶם הַיּוֹם
בְּרָכָה וּקְלָלָה [דברים י"א:כ"ו
“See that I am giving you today a blessing and a curse.” There are so many deep layers of meaning in this verse. B’ezrat Hashem, let’s see a few of them. ראה See – the Ohr Hachayim explains it’s your choice, you can look up or you can look down; you can look to the higher worlds, you can see with higher consciousness, you can see the depths of people and of life, or can see the superficial mundane. ראה אנוכי – See that it is I who gives you all that is available and accessible to you. ראה אנוכי See that I am accessible to you לפניכםin the deepest depth of your being; you can receive Me into the deepest depth of your heart, such that your Neshama will radiate with My light and illuminate every aspect of your life. היום – Today, right now, do not put it off until tomorrow. ברכה וקללה – this gift is both a blessing and a curse; it is your choice, it depends on how you will receive it and how you will respond to it. If you will ‘hearken’ to the mitzvot of Hashem, you will bring His holy light into the world, then all the nations will stream to Yerushalayim and join you in amazing prayer. But if you don’t, this gift can heaven forefend be a curse, as they will continue to attack you and blame you for all their ills.
"See [that] I am giving you today the blessing and the curse...
et habracha asher tishme'u ... the blessing - that you will listen to the mitzvot
v'et ha'klallah im lo tishme'u... and the curse - if you will not listen.."
Most of us would readily admit that it is very special to be close to Hashem and to serve Him. We admire holy people and we probably would like to be holy as well. So why is it so difficult to ‘see’ this? Why is it so difficult to ‘hear’ Hashem’s mitzvoth? Why is it so difficult to be as holy as we would like to be? Why don’t we go all the way?
When the holy Ropshitzer Rebbe was a young child he was rather rambunctious. When his father scolded him, he blamed his ‘yetzer hara’ – the evil inclination, for behaving as he did. His father told him that the he should take a lesson from the ‘yetzer hara’ – just as the yetzer hara is doing what Hashem told him to do, so too, you should do as Hashem commanded you to do! And little Naftali replied, you are right, but my yetzer hara doesn’t have a yetzer hara to distract him.
Screenshot - Elul.3
In our holy books we find that the name of the month, אלול Elul, is presented as an acronym for a number of biblical verses and phrases, the most famous of these being אני לדודי ודודי לי - Ani L'dodi, V'dodi Li- I am unto my Beloved and my Beloved is unto me. This is the time of year that we give a lot of thought to our relationships, with Hashem, with one another and with our own selves. These 40 days from Rosh Chodesh Elul until Yom Kippur are ימי רצון – Days of Divine Grace and Favor. These are the days that Moshe Rabbeinu was on Mt. Sinai for the third time- when Hashem re-established His close relationship with us and gave us the Torah again. Naturally [supernaturally] this is the time of year that we give a lot of thought to תשובה.
TSHUVAH is often translated as repentance. The literal and deeper meaning of תשובה is 'returning'. Reb Dovid Zeller z”l used to sing: Return again, return again; return to who you are; return to what you are, return to the home of your soul. Repentance is just a part of returning to Hashem, the essence is to return to Hashem בשמחה, to return to and to be your deepest true self בשמחה, both as an individual and as an integral part of your community and of the world!
Every one of us has to do tshuvah- both the sinner and the tzaddik. The Talmud teaches us "Kol Yisrael areivim zeh b'zeh"- all of Israel is responsible / intertwined / guarantors for one another, with one another. This explains why on Yom Kippur the holy Ari z”l would say the same confessional prayers as everyone else, even though he did not personally commit any of the mentioned transgressions.
The Lubavitcher Rebbe zt"l taught that if you want to inspire someone else to do 'tshuvah', start with arousing yourself, start with the realization that you too need to do tshuvah. And let us never forget Rebbe Nachman’s teaching of Azamra – always, always focus on the good points in others and in yourself. Focusing on the good points places you in a good space and from there you can proceed to improve and move towards true joyous Tshuvah תשובה בשמחה and become your true higher self .
Two Widely Practiced Customs throughout the Month of Elul:
1] We blow the shofar each morning at the end of the daily prayers. We do not blow the Shofar on Shabbat, nor do we blow it on Erev Rosh Hashanah.
2] Starting on Rosh Chodesh and continuing until Hoshaanah Rabbah- the 7th day of Sukkot, we recite Psalm 27 twice a day – once in the morning after the 'Psalm of the Day' and again at Mincha before 'Aleinu' [some say it after 'Aleinu'].
ACHAS SH'ALTI M'EIS HASHEM OTAH AVAKEISH One thing I asked of Hashem and I will always seek it - SHIVTI B'VEIT HASHEM KOL YEMEI CHA'YAI – that I will dwell in the house of Hashem all the days of my life - LACHZOS B'NOAM HASHEM UL'VAKEIR B'HEICHALOH – to behold the sweetness of Hashem and to visit in His Sanctuary. Psalm 27
Screenshot - Pushke 3
Screenshot - Pushke 3
If you bring joy to Mine, I shall bring joy to yours.
At the end of our parsha we learn once again about our festivals and holidays. We are commanded to rejoice in the presence of Hashem, as it says:
16:11 You shall rejoice in the presence of Ad-noy, your G-d--- you, and your son and your daughter, and your male slave and your female slave, and the Levite who is in your city, and the proselyte, and the orphan and the widow who are among you---in the place that Ad-noy, your G-d, chooses to house His presence there.
Rashi, the greatest of all Torah commentators, notes that there are eight individuals mentioned in this verse and there is a lesson to be derived as to how we acquire joy:
Rashi - Verse 11: The Levite, proselyte, orphan, and widow.
My four correspond with your four--- your son, daughter, servant, and maid-servant. If you bring joy to Mine, I shall bring joy to yours.
To Arouse Great Compassion - The Great Mitzvah Of Tzedakkah
In parshat R'eih, we also learn the great mitzvah of "tzedakkah". This mitzvah is phrased in a very interesting way, [take note of all the doubled verbs *]:
"KI YI'HEYEH B'CHA EVYON = If there should be someone destitute in your midst, among one of your brothers, in one of your cities, in your land that H' your G-d is giving you:
LO T'AMEITZ ET LEVAV'CHA - do not harden your heart, and do not pull your hand away, from [helping] your destitute brother"
"KI FATO'ACH TIFTACH = rather you must surely open, your hand [generously] to him, and you must surely extend a loan to him, to cover sufficiently his needs, which he lacks" (Deut. 15: 7-8)
"NOSSON TITEIN LO = you shall surely give unto him and let your heart have no ill feelings as you give him [your help]. Because for this thing, Hashem your G-d shall bless you in all your works and in all that you set your hand to. (Deut. 15:10)
"KI LO YECHDAL EVYON = for there will be no lack of poor, from within the land, therefore I Am commanding you today saying, *PA'TO'ACH TIFTACH ET YADCHA = you shall surely (continuously) open your hand, to your brother, to your poor, and to your destitute one in your land. (Deut.15: 11)
Open Your Hand To Open Your Heart
A [rhetorical] question may be asked: why does it say, "you shall surely open your hand," should it not say, "you shall open your heart" [similar to "do not harden your heart"]? There are a number of answers. One very interesting Chassidic interpretation that I once saw [sorry that I don't remember where] says as follows: "The hands are the branches of the heart"! By opening the hand, you open the heart! If you want to massage your heart, if you want to become a generous person, start by doing acts of generosity.
A man once asked the Lubavitcher Rebbe ztz"l how he could become a generous person. The Rebbe told him simply, to do acts of loving-kindness. One should not wait until one's heart is in the right place, nor does one need to meditate upon having the right "kavannah" before helping the needy. Can you imagine the poor man might die by the time I finish my meditation! First "you shall surely open your hand;" by doing so often enough, we will surely become generous people.
Without Any Ill Feelings
The Ramban [Nachmanides] counts V'AL YEIRAH LEVAVCHA = and let your heart have no ill feelings, as one of the 613 mitzvot. Further it is taught that if one gives tzedakkah with bad feelings, the mitzvah is nullified. If you do any other mitzvah without the best of intentions, though the performance of the mitzvah is thus blemished, nevertheless the mitzvah is still counted as a mitzvah. If you give tzedakkah because you wish to be honored, you haven't done the mitzvah in the best manner, but you have done the mitzvah. However if you give tzedakkah with bad feelings you nullify the mitzvah.
The Mishnah in Pirkei Avot Chap. 3, states, Rebbi Elazar of Bartotah says: "Give Him from that which belongs to Him, for you and all that you possess belong to Him." Giving tzedakkah is an act of faith that all that you posses really belongs to Hashem and that you are giving away some of Hashem's money, that He has entrusted you with. Nevertheless, Hashem considers it as if you yourself did the mitzvah.
From the Midrash:
Said Rabbi Dostai son of Yanai, "come and see, the ways of the Holy One blessed be He are unlike the ways of flesh and blood. When one brings a gift to a king of flesh and blood, it is not certain whether the gift will be accepted or not, and if it is certain that it will be accepted, it still remains to be seen whether or not the gift bearer will get to see the king, and even if it is certain that he will see the king, it is not certain whether the king will grant his wish or not. Whereas the Holy One blessed be He is not like that. When a man gives a small coin to as poor man, he merits to receive the face of the Shechinah, as it says, " I, in righteousness i will see Your face." (Yalkut Yitzchak p.65 #1) Tanya (English Translation) Published and copyrighted by Kehot Publication Society
It also says in the Midrash that one who gives tzedakkah, brings about peace in the supernal realms as well as in the lower realms. (Ihr Miklat quoted in Yalkut Yitzchak p.66 #6)
Said Rabbi Yehuda ben Simon, the poor man was sitting and complaining against Hashem's ways, "What is he and what am I …?" [i.e. he complains to Hashem that the wealthy one is no better than himself, so why then should others have money while he remains poor.] But when you get up and help him with tzedakkah, you have made peace between him and Me, between him and his family, between him and his relatives. (Sefer HaChinuch quoted in Yalkut Yitzchak p.65 #1)
My master taught that the deeds a man does are inscribed upon his forehead, with one of the twenty-two letters of the 'alef-bet'. This letter shines upon his forehand so long as he is occupied with the mitzvah. Once he stops doing the mitzvah the letter leaves and is absorbed within. However concerning the mitzvah of tzedakkah, the letter shing upon his forehead continues to glow and shine throughout the week. (Ihr Miklat quoted in Yalkut Yitzchak p.66 #6)
The Baal Shem Tov taught that when giving tzedakkah one is to do a 'unification' of the Divine Name. The coin is symbolic of the letter 'yud', the five fingers of the one giving charity symbolize the first 'heh' of the Name, the arm symbolizes the letter 'vav' and the hand of the recipient symbolizes the second 'heh' of the Divine Name.
"You shall surely open your 'hand'." In the sefer Siftei Kohen it says that 'your hand' is also an allusion to 'your place'. Thus "open you hand" means "open your place" – your place in "the tree of life" – by giving tzedakkah you secure entrance to your place in the "Tree of Life". (Yalkut Yitzchak page 68 #16)
I found it written in the Sefer Chassidim z"l: When one gives tzedakkah 'for the sake of Heaven', then Hashem takes the tzedakkah and plants it in the Garden of Eden. He takes the amount of wheat that could have been bought with that money and plants it there in the Garden of Eden. This wheat continues to grow each year and Hashem puts it into the storehouse, for the donor's benefit in the World to Come. So too all sorts of delicacies and sweet things grow there and are stored there, as it says, "For as the earth brings forth her growth, and as the garden causes the things that are sown in it to spring forth; so the Lord g-d will cause righteousness – tzedakkah and praise to spring forthbefore all the nations." (Isaiah 61:11) ….
Further it says there that when one gives a coin to a poor man he merits to see the Shechinah. This is found in the Torah and is repeated in the prophets and is found a third time in the Writings. … and he will also merit to arise in "Tchiat Hameitim"- the revival of the dead as it is alluded in "I will be satisfied when i awake, with Your likeness." (Psalm 17:15) (Yalkut Yitzchak page 68 #20)
The Rambam wrote in the Laws of Gifts to the Poor, [Ch 10; 1] “We are obligated to be scrupulous in the mitzvah of tzedakkah, more than all other positive commandments…” The throne of Israel is not firmly established, nor does the true religion stand with stability, other than in the merit of tzedakkah, for it says ‘you shall establish Me through tzedakkah.’
The people of Israel are redeemed only in the merit of tzedakkah, as it says, ‘Zion shall be redeemed with justice and her captives/inhabitants with the mitzvah of tzedakkah.’” In the Talmud, Bava Batra 9a, the Rabbis taught that the mitzvah of tzedakkah is equal to all the mitzvoth.”
“And let your heart not hurt when you give him.” The Chinuch [mitzvah 479] writes, tzedakkah is to be done with joy and goodness of heart.
Rambam's Eight Levels of Charity [Mishneh Torah, Laws of Charity, 10:7-14]
There are eight levels of charity, each greater than the next.
 The greatest level, above which there is no greater, is to support a fellow Jew by endowing him with a gift or loan, or entering into a partnership with him, or finding employment for him, in order to strengthen his hand until he need no longer be dependent upon others...
 A lesser level of charity than this is to give to the poor without knowing to whom one gives, and without the recipient knowing from who he received. For this is performing a mitzvah solely for the sake of Heaven. This is like the "anonymous fund" that was in the Holy Temple [in Jerusalem]. There the righteous gave in secret, and the good poor profited in secret. Giving to a charity fund is similar to this mode of charity, though one should not contribute to a charity fund unless one knows that the person appointed over the fund is trustworthy and wise and a proper administrator, like Rabbi Hananya ben Teradyon.
 A lesser level of charity than this is when one knows to whom one gives, but the recipient does not know his benefactor. The greatest sages used to walk about in secret and put coins in the doors of the poor. It is worthy and truly good to do this if those who are responsible for distributing charity are not trustworthy.
 A lesser level of charity than this is when one does not know to whom one gives, but the poor person does know his benefactor. The greatest sages used to tie coins into their robes and throw them behind their backs, and the poor would come up and pick the coins out of their robes so that they would not be ashamed.
 A lesser level than this is when one gives to the poor person directly into his hand, but gives before being asked.
 A lesser level than this is when one gives to the poor person after being asked.
 A lesser level than this is when one gives inadequately, but gives gladly and with a smile.
 A lesser level than this is when one gives unwillingly.
Screenshot - Re'eih 3
Screenshot - fear and love 1
Screenshot - Re'eih 4
From the beginning of Elul until Hoshana Rabbah we recite Psalm 27 twice daily. It is a most deep heart prayer of David and there are many verses that reverberate with prayers from generation to generation from day to day from heart to heart.
Psalm 27: 7-10
ז שְׁמַע-יְהוָה קוֹלִי אֶקְרָא; וְחָנֵּנִי וַעֲנֵנִי. 7 Hear, O LORD, when I call with my voice, and be gracious unto me, and answer me.
ח לְךָ, אָמַר לִבִּי--בַּקְּשׁוּ פָנָי; אֶת-פָּנֶיךָ יְהוָה אֲבַקֵּשׁ. 8 Unto You [on Your behalf] my heart hath said: 'Seek ye My face'; Your face, Hashem, will I seek.
עֶזְרָתִי הָיִיתָ; אַל-תִּטְּשֵׁנִי וְאַל-תַּעַזְבֵנִי, אֱלֹהֵי יִשְׁעִי. 9 Hide not Thy face from me; put not Thy servant away in anger;
Thou hast been my help; cast me not off, neither forsake me, O God of my salvation.
י כִּי-אָבִי וְאִמִּי עֲזָבוּנִי; וַיהוָה יַאַסְפֵנִי. 10 For though my father and my mother have forsaken me, Hashem will gather me in.
my heart speaks
it desires to come closer to You Hashem
my heart says seek
search and yearn to find
my innermost connection
with Your innermost essence
I wish to pray for this always
for the gift to always seek and yearn for You
to always desire to desire deeper and deeper
face to face to face relationship
with You Compassionate One
so caught up in mundane superficial realities
distracted from seeing You
in everything in my life
yes You are here though so hidden
communicating from behind the veil
we don’t see You
we don’t hear You
yea I have damaged my vision and my hearing
seeing only myself
hearing only myself
where are You
I want to see Your face
in the most real honest way
am I not scared? of course I am
but I can’t stand being apart from You
The King is in the field on his way back
to the Royal city
soon He will be back in the palace
but right now anyone who so desires can approach
and greet Him
He is waiting for us
our holy masters teach us
all we need to do is to approach Him
and say Shalom Aleichem my King
is it not too hard to do this
is it really hard
it seems like we have to cross over
long fiery bridges of instability
אל תסתר פניך ממני
do not hide Your face from me
do not let Your hiding
prevent me seeking Your face
ממני – ‘mimeni’ - from me
though it is from me
I admit it is from me
I caused You to move away
to hide from me
still I ask You
do not hide Your face
I do not understand Your concealment
it is so deep
let it not discourage me from
seeking Your face together with my face
אך תט באף עבדך
do not turn away in anger
though it is I who aroused
Your anger and indignation
please I beg You
do not turn Your face
away from me
You have been my help
please do not drop me now
do not leave me alone my G-d
I admit that it was You that helped me all along
in every step with every breath
yes I thought that it was my prowess
my cleverness and my strength of hand
now I recognize that was all from
Your kindness and blessings
כי אבי ואמי עזבוני
my father and mother have left me
my wisdom and understanding have forsaken me
they have lost their power their attraction
not connected with You
they have lost their vitality
for You alone are the source of life
without You my wisdom and understanding wither
and I wither with them grasping for a little flow of
true life energy
gasping for deep breath connection
for true faith in You
I won’t give up wanting to want
to be closer with You
face to face with You
what a chutzpah it is
to ask of You not to turn away from me
as if I know thast I deserve
Your help and salvation
that I deserve to see Your face
but I can no longer continue being alone
I can’t be away from You any longer
alone in my delusional self-worship
I don’t want to go in the way of
withering crumbling idols
leaving nothing worthy behind or ahead
I don’t want to disappear from the good
from Your good
with [hopefully holy] chutzpah
with a little humility or lack of it
I know because You make it known to me
that my heart is crying to be closer to You with You
though I do not hear its cries
they are there crying and breathing
in a silent delicate voice
and at the very least I am glad that
this is what King David and all our holy masters
have inspired us to believe and know
that the heart cries
speaks sings and proclaims
“do not give-up yearning and praying to be closer with Hashem!”
it is true
my soul thirsts for You
and so I will not deny it my prayer
to actually seek Your countenance
face to face
I will seek my deepest depths I will seek You
I will call out to You
to hear the prayers of my heart
crying for me to not stop daavening to You
for you my children and friends
my heart has spoken “seek my face”
I seek your face and my face together
together with Hashem we can do this
we can become and be as one within
mammash within the Oneness of Hashem
it is the ‘yetzer-hara’ that You created
to seduce me into vain superficiality
into separation of form from content
loss of deep connection without and within
to think that mundane pleasures are worthy pursuits
to forget my real purpose in being here
this ‘yetzer-hara’ that you gave me
to have free choice
I have succumbed to it
to the attraction of jealousy to the lure of lust
to the mad pursuit of honor
but You continue to whisper within my heart
“seek My face”
and so even if only for a few precious moments
from distant time to distant time
I seek my innermost face
I seek Your face
I seek my face within Your face
for the sake of my neshamah and
for Your sake please arouse my heart
Hashem I pray that I will always desire
to yearn for Your innermost essence
Hashem open my lips to daaven to daaven
for Your sake
for my neshamah and for all the souls Israel
The Rebbe Reb Zusha's teaching on Tshuvah:
Reb Schneur Zalman once told his grandson, Reb Menachem Mendel of Lubavitch: "In the year 1768, . . . Reb Zusha said simply: 'I cannot reach the level of repentance that our rebbe has described. I would rather divide Tshuvah into five parts. For the word tshuvah is made up of the initial letters of five verses: